wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
