so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
operation have a gay friend backfired
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
