Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This baby is an asshole
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
