I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
this just has baby written all over it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
