I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
