me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She's the barista slut.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
