I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
