If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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