So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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