I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
