u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize