Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
