So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
