I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wish my penis had a tongue
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
