Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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