So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
