my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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