Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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