Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
