She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
