Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
