I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Operation Purity has been aborted
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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