I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
