Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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