i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
