i permit you to call me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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