feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
