It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
