Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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