Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
