i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Actions speak louder than pants.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
