I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
