Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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