i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
