Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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