I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
