he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
