Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
