So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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