Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
