Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
