Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
a search helicopter?!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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