im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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