Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
