your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
