I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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