he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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