I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
