It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
