Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
