Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
