if you like me you must not know who I am
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
